Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Daigo-san. I YEETED you.

Alright, if you flushed your cache, you'll notice that this site just changed A LOT. From a clumsy vertical layout to an (equally clumsy) horizontal layout, which kinda seems to fuck with the newly made gallery section. But it's aight, ain't it? My site feels a bit naked, gotta say. A bit minimal. God, I hate minimal. But I also hate cutesy things thrown there without rhyme or reason. I will probably personally draw a lot of stuff to fill the void and decorate the pages. Also, you know what's a mess? Testing the website when I'm fucking blind and my main monitor is set to 125%. Had to swap a lot to my secondary monitor (aka my graphics tablet working her part-time job as such, god bless her) to check how things were building up.

AAAND ANYWAYS THE SITE FEELS A BIT NAKED, GOTTA SAY. A BIT MINIMAL. GOD, I HATE MINIMAL but honestly it felt so misleading to have Daigo-san plastered everywhere on the website because it felt like false advertising. This website is not just about him, it's my site! There's a lot on it. If you noticed, I also temporarily deleted the "Daigonology" section, but that's mostly because it made me feel a strange pressure. Honestly, I'd rather post things here on the blog and then, if they reach critical mass, they'll become their own thing. I'm also considering the same about the media section, because I end up writing forced paragraphs about things, but did I really discuss that piece of media appropriately while doing so? On the one hand I want to show off stuff I enjoy, with as little spoilers as possible, on the other it's kinda... Eh. And no, I'm not doing a backlogged/backloggery/discogs/letterboxd/anobii or whatever the younguns use nowadays. The point of this website's existence is also to avoid using those systems. Ratings feel so asinine to me. One thing is telling my partner, in the privacy of our home, "I'd give this a six out of ten" just for the sake of discussion, a whole another thing would be to curate a series of reviews trying to make them consistent and stuff. Nope, that's a job, a supposedly paid job. I'm not a critic. Also, I wonder, should I only add things I recommend, or also things I didn't really enjoy? I wonder, I wonder.

And the site feels a bit naked, gotta say, a bit minimal, and God, I hate minimal, but I also want the best readability, and also the gallery feels wonky and you can't really see the pictures as well as I'd like and I'm sure there's a solution to it but I can't think right now. The actual solution would be to make the site vertical again as it used to be... But I'm such a novice, I had made it work weird with the previous layout. Maybe no-one noticed but I did.

And damn, I wanted to put a c-box but what's the point of a c-box if there's a guestbook nobody writes in anyway, and all the rest. And I removed the music player because it didn't work anymore. And dreamweaver crashed while I was typing and GOD DON'T GIVE ME SHIT ABOUT DREAMWEAVER I use it like notepad with added benefits. Like having my whole website accessible on the sidebar and live preview.

And God there's still SO MUCH to work on. I'd like the About section to look cuter, like those nifty CARRRDs do, but I'm too lazy to actually learn html. Or too dumb, I don't know. I just copypaste code and go with trial and error until things look decent. This all reminds me of when I wanted to pick up journaling as a hobby but then I realized I'm not cut for that, I just write vents upon vents down with my pharmacist-like handwriting and stick a pic or two randomly, a line of washi tape and that's it, that's my journaling. And then, from time to time, I rip the pages and start over. I do this so much.

And fuck, I'm so sleepy, been working on this for so long today. And I have yet to upload everything and I have no clue how. But in the next 30 minutes it all should be up and running, right? Right...? And that damn Neocities feed will show THE SITE HAS UPDATED and people will go check while I'm still hacking away at the file system and wonder "what happened?". Dammit, you should let me decide when the update is pushed to the timeline.

And I don't know why I'm venting here. It's just a post-work-done-insecure-delirium. Thanks for coming to my stream of consciousness extraordinnaire. Hello, goodbye and goodnight.

Benevolent Daigo-san in the banner, I'll miss you so much...!